🚨BREAKING: Apple just got told “no” by the court — like a toddler begging for one more episode of Bluey. In a move that sent shockwaves through Cupertino (and probably shattered a few iPhone screens from sheer rage), a U.S. court has officially denied Apple’s desperate Hail Mary attempt to keep charging developers a fee when users pay outside the App Store via those spicy little in-app links.
Yes, guys. The “Apple tax” is getting evicted like an unwanted roommate who never paid rent but still hogged the Wi-Fi.
🍎 Apple: “Can We Still Charge for Stuff We Didn’t Do?”
👨⚖️ Court: “LOL, No.”
Apple tried to hit the court with a last-minute, emergency “Please let us keep our cut of the pie even when it’s not our pie” motion. But the court just sipped its coffee, looked over its glasses, and replied, “Yeah… absolutely not.”
Quoting from their legal burnbook, the court basically said, “Apple has not convinced us to pause this ruling. The vibes are off.” (Okay, not verbatim, but spiritually accurate.)
🎮 Epic Games CEO Tim Sweeney: Real-Life Thanos Moment
Upon hearing the news, Tim Sweeney from Epic Games put on his metaphorical cape and declared, “The long national nightmare of Apple tax is ended,” on X (aka Twitter for people who miss chaos). Somewhere, a Fortnite emote started playing in celebration.
🍏 Apple: “We Are Sooo Disappointed 😔”
Apple responded the way only a trillion-dollar company can — by pouting in a press statement.
“We’re disappointed,” they said, probably while polishing a stack of gold iPads. “We’ll keep fighting this ruling because we still believe we deserve 27% of whatever happens anywhere, ever, always.”
They also threw in that they just want to keep the App Store “safe and trusted,” which is rich considering they used to pop up “scare screens” any time a user dared click away from Apple’s blessed payment garden.
👩⚖️ Judge Gonzalez Rogers: Uno Reverse Card Activated
This all stems from a ruling in April when Judge Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers clapped back at Apple for being in “willful violation” of a 2021 injunction. Translation? Apple was told to knock it off THREE YEARS AGO and just kept pretending they didn’t hear her.
The judge officially gave the green light to developers to link out like it’s 2006 and the internet is free again. Cue bald eagle screech.
💸 The 27% Fee & Scare Screens? Canceled.
Apple thought it could still take a 27% cut and freak users out with those big bad “WARNING: YOU’RE LEAVING THE APP STORE TO A SCARY OUTSIDE WORLD!!” messages. But the court basically said, “You’re not Blockbuster in 1998. Chill.”
Now? Those tactics are banned. Gone. Ghosted. Soft-blocked. Whatever Gen Z is calling it.
🛍️ Spotify & Amazon: “We’re Outta Here!”
Meanwhile, companies like Spotify and Amazon were already out the door like, “Peace, Apple.” They’ve launched new app updates where you can finally subscribe or shop without navigating the maze of Apple’s payment traps. The freedom is intoxicating.
📉 Apple’s Wallet Still Bulging, But A Little Less Now
To add insult to injury, this all comes right before Apple’s big Worldwide Developer Conference (aka Tech Coachella). Apple tried to remind us this week that they generated $1.3 trillion in billings in 2024 — but forgot to mention that 90% of it didn’t earn them any commission.
Well now that number’s about to go up, and not in the way Apple wants.
Final Thoughts:
Apple just got legally humbled, developers are out here skipping like school kids on the last day of class, and the App Store monopoly? It’s got a few cracks in it now.
Tim Sweeney’s somewhere popping a bottle of sparkling code, and Apple is… updating its privacy policy probably.
Apple’s stay is denied by the 9th Circuit Court. The long national nightmare of the Apple tax is ended.
May next week’s WWDC be the Apple-led celebration of freedom that developers and users have long deserved. pic.twitter.com/f0A3IAVKNC
— Tim Sweeney (@TimSweeneyEpic) June 4, 2025
